


Other Side of the Door

by BloodFrost



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Captain Phasma, Gay, General Hux - Freeform, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, Love, M/M, Romance, Sci-Fi, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) - Freeform, The First Order, kylux fluff, space boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodFrost/pseuds/BloodFrost
Summary: Kylo Ren and General Hux have been in a relationship for nearly a year. Both of them care deeply about each other, but neither has said the dreaded "L" word yet.One week, Kylo is sent on what could be his most dangerous of missions: intelligence has been circled of the possible location of Kylo's uncle, the elusive Jedi, Luke Skywalker, and Kylo rushes off to the possible long-awaited confrontation ---- leaving Hux behind. Hux, who worries incessantly about what might happen to the man who's stolen his heart.





	Other Side of the Door

"We missed you at the meeting."

Hux chuckled and shook his head.

"I doubt that, Phasma. Everybody was probably glad to be free from my yelling, for a change."

Phasma laughed and shook her head. "The yelling is better than the mumbling. That meeting was over 2 hours long, and I honestly have only the slightest idea of what it was even about!"

"Let me guess; Lietenant Kingley took my place?"

Phasma nodded her head, her lips curling into a grimace.

"That man . . . I don't know what's worse; the mumbling, or the smell. I was sitting clear across the room, Hux, and I still had to get up and open the window, to circulate the air a little. Clearly he needs to assigned new quarters, one with a refresher in it. I'd have to severely doubt that he has one, now."

Hux laughed out loud at that, and was surprised at how good it felt, to laugh. He hadn't done so in what felt like a long while.

"Anyway, here," Phasma said, giving him a tidy handful of pages, scrawled with her lovely handwriting. "I took the best notes I could, from all that I could understand. I'm afraid they may be a little choppy, though."

Hux quickly looked them over, and smiled at her. "I'm sure that these are more than efficient. Thank you."

"No problem."

She sat quietly for a few minutes, as Hux continued to look over her notes. She wanted to ask him something, but was leery about intruding into in his personal life.

In the end, her curiosity got the best of her, and she asked, timidly,

"So how are you holding up?"

He looked up from the papers and tilted his head.

"I'm okay," he replied easily, automatically.

"No, really," she said, hesitantly putting her hand on the General's arm. "How are you doing?"

Of everybody on the base, aside from Kylo, Phasma was the only one that he could truly call his friend. They had been working together for a lot of years, and their personal relationship only seemed to strengthen over time.

They knew a lot about each other, and each had proved to one another that they could be trusted with the deepest of secrets.

Hux's relationship with Kylo Ren, while not exactly a secret around the base, was something that he nonetheless preferred to keep to himself. Not out of embarrassment, but a desire to keep the privacy, the intimacy of their lives intact.

Phasma was the only one he could talk to, about Kylo, on a very personal level. And she was discreet with the things he told her, offering advice or comfort whenever the need for it arose.

So he sighed and set the papers down. 

"I don't know, Phasma. At this point, saying that I'm worried would be an understatement. Petrified would be closer to the truth. Terrified even closer."

She began to rub along his arm, trying to soothe him.

"I'm sure he's fine, Hux. He's smart, he's strong; he can take care of himself."

"If they actually DO find Skywalker, Phasma--that worries me. You know Snoke is scared of Skywalker. SNOKE. That's why he's so adamant about having him found, and killed."

"I understand that. But, do you really think Skywalker would kill Kylo? No matter what, that IS his nephew."

"I don't know. I think he'd try to turn him, first; get him to leave the First Order and go back home with him. And that scares me worse than anything."

He got up and began pacing around the room, his words coming out fast, urgently.

"What if he did go back? If he left here? Do you know what that feels like, to sit here and imagine that maybe Kylo will never walk through that door again? That he'll disappear entirely, either back to his family, the Resistance, or to the blade of a lightsaber?"

"I doubt that would happen, Hux; the first thing, anyway. Can you honestly picture Kylo in an x-wing, attacking the base? I can't," she said, lightly, trying to put a bit of humor into the tense situation.

When he didn't respond, she moved her gaze to the floor, absently tapping the edge of her chair with her fingers.

"You know, it's all irrelevant. Every single thing. And that's fine, it really is. Everything could explode into a ball of fire tomorrow, and why not? I mean, it's happened once before, right?"

Phasma nodded uneasily.

"But the truth is, if that happened, it wouldn't matter to me. All of this --", he said, raising his arm and moving it in a slow sweep around the room, " -- could disappear in a heartbeat; and I'd be fine. But Kylo . . . "

Here he paused, feeling his chest clench painfully in anxiety.

"I couldn't lose HIM. I couldn't, Phasma. I--I'm almost positive that he doesn't feel the same, for me. But that doesn't matter, either. All that DOES matter is that he's alive. Breathing. And happy. More than anything in this galaxy, I want him to be happy."

He looked away from her, shifting his gaze to the wall. The blank, white wall. Stark. Bereft of life, of flavor, of personality.

Or maybe that last part wasn't accurate. Maybe the wall WAS highly representative of Armitage Hux's personality. Colorless. Impersonal.

Empty.

A long time ago, Kylo had argued (and failed) to convince him to paint the walls a different color. Yellow, blue, ANYTHING other than the starched bleach of a sunless sky.

Hux had, of course, shot his suggestions down with his usual condescending stubbornness. After all, what possible difference could a change in color make? It seemed pointless, and unimportant, so he had ignored it, and Kylo.

Now, with the wall staring at him in monstrous indifference, it occurred to him that Kylo had been right.

He looked away quickly and back to Phasma, who had been watching him closely, concern etched all over her face.

"I think you need a good night's sleep," she said, very softly.

"Sleep?", he repeated, unconsciously pressing both sets of fingers against his closed eyeballs. "What possible good could that do for me?"

"Sometimes it helps, when you're worried about something, to shut down your brain for a while. It clears the mind, makes everything seem less horrible, when you wake up again"

Hux nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right. I haven't had more than a couple hours of sleep in the past . . . when did they leave, again?"

"About a week ago."

"In about a week, then."

Now alarm joined concern on the Captain's face. "That doesn't sound healthy at all, Hux. Maybe--maybe I should take you to Med Bay? See if they can give you something to help you fall asleep?"

Hux shook his head.

"No, no, I'll be fine."

"What about food? Have you been eating, at least?"

"Yes," Hux said, hoping that his voice sounded firm enough, steady enough for her to believe his lie. He didn't want to worry her any more than she already was. In reality he had been merely picking at his food for days now, instead consuming copious amounts of tea and caffe in order to keep up his energy during the day.

If Phasma knew that he was lying, she didn't let on. She just stood up with a little sigh, stretching her arms above her head.

"I'll go, then, and leave you to your rest. Promise me, please, that you'll at least TRY to get some sleep?"

"I promise," Hux said, as he stood to walk her to the door. When they got there, he leaned in and gave her a warm hug, and a soft peck on the cheek.

"You're a good friend, Phasma. Thank you for coming over. For -- for listening."

She nodded and smiled. "You're not such a bad friend, yourself. I hope you get some rest, Hux. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said, watching as she walked out of the door and down the hallway.

Afterwards, he went into his kitchen and pulled open the conservator, thinking that he should at least eat something.

He settled on a fruit tray he had made up earlier in the week, consisting of Jogan fruit, bloom fruit, black melon, and hubba gourd, forcing himself to sit at the table and eat a bowlful, despite his huge lack of appetite.

Once finished, he passed through his living room again, and again found himself staring blankly at the wall.

He called down to maintenance, and before he went to bed he had painted the four sides of his living room a deep, vibrant blue.

~~~

4am, and Hux opened his eyes slightly, thinking that he had heard a noise.

He had given up trying to sleep in his own bed around midnight, and had crept carefully, and shamefully, into Kylo's quarters, to sleep in his.

And it helped, a little.

He was able to sleep just a tiny bit more comfortably than at home, and had gotten a couple of hours of much needed, uninterrupted sleep.

Until the (imagined?) noise woke him up.

He lay there in that uncomfortable state between waking and sleeping, and it was in this semi-conscious daze that he first heard the voice, calling out "Hux?"

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and ignored it, thinking he must finally be asleep, and dreaming.

And then the voice called again, louder:

"Hux? Where are you? I know you're here; I can feel you."

Hux slowly got out of bed and walked into the living room, in a daze.

A tall, dark-haired man stood near the front doorway, looking at him.

"Kylo?", he asked in disbelief, his heart thudding, the sour taste adrenaline flooding his mouth.

The man looked at him, and amazingly, blessedly, he smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"I believe I live here, actually. A better question would be, what are YOU doing here?"

Hux's face blushed as he remembered where he was.

"I couldn't sleep in my quarters," was all the explanation he gave, as he moved closer to where Ren still stood, leaning against the door.

Hux threw his arms around the taller man, squeezing him as hard as he could, resting his head on Ren's shoulder. After all the worry, all the fear of possibly losing him, to actually have him in his arms was intoxicating. Ren's presence, and the reality of him being here, now, safe and solid and sweet, was overwhelming. Hux wasn't sure that he could let go, but eventually he forced himself to, before Ren could feel the way his body had started to tremble.

"What was that for?", Ren asked him, a bit surprised.

"I guess-- I guess I missed you, is all."

Now he pulled Kylo over to one of the chairs and tugged him down into it, perching himself on the arm of said chair.

"Will you be angry if I asked you what happened? Or should I wait to hear it from Snoke?"

Ren shrugged.

"It turned out to be a false lead," he said, sighing lightly. "When we got there, the only thing we found was water. And rocks. Lots and lots of rocks."

Hux barked out a short laugh, unable to help himself. Relief was overpowering him, making him dizzy, and he had to steady himself, to keep from falling over.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he told Ren, not sorry in the least. He put his hand on Ren's knee, patting it gently. "But I'm sure you'll find him, one day."

Ren nodded but said nothing, so great was his disappointment at this latest failed mission.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something, if you are."

"No. I'm just tired."

"Oh." Hux stood up quickly, and cleared his throat. "Do you, uh, do you want me to get out of here, then? Let you get some sleep?"

"Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about, Hux. Only I'm not sure how to say it."

Hux's heart started to pound again, filling his ears. 

This was it. 

This is the part where Ren would tell him that, while he liked Hux, he just couldn't do this anymore. That Hux's inability to conceal his desperate neediness for him had soured Ren's feelings for him, and that it would be best if they just stopped this now, and remained friends.

Friends.

The word had such a sad, ugly resonance in Hux's mind that he could hardly stand it. Nevertheless he braced himself to hear these things from Ren, and resolved to himself that he would stay strong, and unemotional, even if it killed him.

But instead, what came out of Kylo's mouth was so unexpected, so unreal, that at first Hux wasn't sure that he was hearing him right.

"The thing is, Hux, lately I've been finding that I don't sleep very well, when I'm not with you. In your bed or my own, when we're together, I feel good. Better than good; I feel calm. And peaceful."

He stopped, and timidly reached out to take Hux's hand into his own, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm not sure what that means, Hux. But I don't like it when I'm not near you. It makes my head hurt, actually."

Hux didn't know what to say, or how to react, to the overwhelming sweetness of the moment.

"So what I wanted to ask you, is: do you want to maybe move in with me?"

When Hux still didn't respond, staring at him in shocked silence, Ren rushed out quickly,

"If you don't want to, it's alright, I understand. I--I know I'd probably be a hard person to live with," he said, laughing nervously.

By now Hux had thawed out, and he gave Kylo a small grin.

"No."

"No?"

"No. I don't want to move in here with you."

Before the hurt look on Kylo's face could deepen any further, Hux went on:

"I'd rather you moved into MY quarters. They're bigger, for one. And cleaner."

Kylo punched him, hard, on the shoulder. "Maker, you're mean. You had me thinking you didn't care about me anymore."

Hux rubbed his arm, unable to stop smiling. "'Didn't care about you'? For a mind reader, you're incredibly obtuse. You must know by now that you're ALL I ever think about."

Kylo blushed a deep, attractive red, looking down at the floor.

"No, I didn't know that, actually," he mumbled, not looking up. "I try really hard NOT to read your mind, actually."

"Really? Why?"

Now he did look up at Hux, the blush still lingering on his face as he said,

"When you love someone, you try to be respectful of them, and their privacy, as much as possible."

"You--you love me?"

Kylo rolled his eyes and groaned.

"No, you nerf-herder. I just asked you if you wanted to live together for kicks."

Ignoring his comment, Hux leaned over the arm of the chair and kissed him, enjoying the sweet fullness of Kylo's pouty lips.

When he was finished (and it was quite a while before he was finished; Kylo had a taste to him unlike anything else), he stood up and grabbed Kylo's hand, pulling him to his feet.

"Come on; let's go to bed. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow, moving all of your things over."

"You know, I'm going to miss it a little, here. Especially my bed."

He squeezed Hux's hand and said, in a teasing lilt,

"It'd be rude to leave that bed without giving it the chance to give us a proper sendoff, don't you think?"

"Oh?, asked Hux, glancing over at him. "What kind of a 'sendoff' did you have in mind?"

Quicker than quick, Ren bent over and lifted the redhead off of his feet and into his strong arms, his lips smothering Hux's squeals of delight as he carried him eagerly into the bedroom.


End file.
